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The Anti-G Song
By Ihsan al-Kilwiyya (currently known as Inez de Rusconi), 1993
Music: Glenwhorple

This song was written as a rebuttal to the popular Glenwhorple, with the approval of Master Hector, Lord Justinian and Sir Cordigan

Now last week I went to London to the Revel "Post Pennsic".
At the time I'd only hoped the boring Court would finish quick.
It was only after the feast did I suddenly feel sick:
Food was great 'til that man started up "Glenwhorple".
Chorus:
Hiya! Glenwhorple's crazy, men!
Cordigan is singing that damned song again!
If they tore it up and threw it out I'd day amen.
Gawd I hate Glenwhorple

I was taught about the Garden when I was going to school.
And how Eve put sin in Adam- that was made a golden rule.
But I think she ate the apple so she could deal with that fool
Running naked naming animal in Eden! (Chorus)

If the King and Queen of Ealdormere has had their say
Then they would make all the stops to keep the East at bay.
And I think, at least, this song would all the Tuchuks away
Or we'll trample them all on the field of battle. (Chorus)

When Noah was called by God to take the beasts and go embark,
I think that the Lord God had intended to have a good lark
'Cause he wanted to see how much shit could build up in an ark.
It's the "Floating Fertilizer" in the bible! (Chorus)

Well the Bards keep singing Glenwhorple as they've been taught
And the Heralds singing the "G" song are always caught
In the rhetoric with which the SCA is fraught.
It's no wonder they all like singing Glenwhorple. (Chorus)

Well I hope that all you good gentles were not taken aback
For the one who really hates the "G" song is named Brand the Black.
After hearing his complaints I sat and wrote out this attack
On this funny song that is known as "Glenwhorple". (chorus)